Luxury SUV – What the $417,800 Rolls-Royce Cullinan Teaches You About Yourself
Clearance Jewelry.The point of driving all of these cars, we say, is to learn. We are informers, the journalists with the context and experience necessary to bring you the clear, concise reviews that you need to make the best decisions. There are personal biases, morally dubious automaker-journalist relationships, and genuine instances of misremembering that can cloud the result, but by and large there’s no better way to learn about a product than to get behind the wheel.
But there’s little to learn about the Rolls-Royce Cullinan. It is a vehicle with no clear equal, double the price of a Bentley Bentayga and brash enough that people will know you had the extra dough to burn. It is every bit as comfortable, serene, and refreshing to drive as you’d hope. There’s no glaring way that it misses, no hidden revelation to unwind the vast tapestry that Rolls-Royce has spun about its own excellence. There is no meaningful thing you can learn about it through driving it because the Rolls-Royce Cullinan is exactly as you imagine. Spend a minute in one at a dealer and you’ll be as well-informed about the experience as I am, now. Instead it teaches you a few things about yourself.
You’ll Pretend To Hate It, But You Love the Attention
It is not particularly flattering to say that someone wants attention. Despite this, entire industries have sprung up to satisfy our innate desire to get noticed. Jewelry, fancy watches, in-vogue fashion, and, yes, luxury automobiles. There is no functional need for a Rolls-Royce in the same way that there is no functional need for a diamond ring. Some things to remind you of how lucky you are to have one.
The Rolls-Royce Cullinan is of that ilk. Named after the largest diamond in the world, it’s arguably more conspicuous. By raising its roof and bow, Rolls-Royce has made the Cullinan far more imposing and impossible to ignore than its Ghost sibling. Draped in “Hell Rot II” paint—a $12,650 code phrase for “red”—the Cullinan press car is unabashed in its desire for attention. It not only says, “look at me,” but also “I know you don’t want to give the owner satisfaction by looking, but you’ll look anyway.” It is desperate so you can be cool, the shouting of the presentation juxtaposed by you, acting like you belong.
I, for one, do not belong. Add up the money I’ve made in 23 years of life and it doesn’t cover the Cullinan’s sticker. I should not relish the attention because there’s inherent dishonesty. The base assumption, if you drive a Rolls-Royce at 23, is that you’ve done well enough to afford one. I’m here to tell those rich people if they should buy one, or, more accurately, to tell a bunch of people who also can’t afford one what it’s like. Yet when my friend suggests it, I roll straight on to Times Square. Not because I have to be there, but because we both know that the tourists will give us the jealous gawks we can’t admit to loving.
You Are a Feckless Coward For Even Considering a Tame Color
There was a moment, nothing more, when I thought that maybe a more subdued color would be nice. Parading around in the brightly painted favorite steed of the British upper crust, the Irish Catholic guilt was too much to bear. A split second thought: “I don’t deserve this, and the more people that look, the more people will realize that.” Maybe, I thought, a dark blue or gray would strike a good middle ground.
What a load of garbage. The audacity of grey-and-black Cullinan owners astounds me. You think you can buy an oversized, half-million-dollar monster truck with 22s and then decide at the last minute to pivot toward humility? You might as well throw a blanket over the Eiffel Tower, it’d do as much good. There is no shame inherent in owning something nice, so own it. Make it green, purple, or bright orange. Embrace it, because it’s far more fun that way.
Power Is Most Intoxicating When You Don’t Use It
The Rolls-Royce Cullinan has a 6.75-liter V-12 that makes 563 hp and 612 lb-ft of torque. Using The Drive‘s top tip of putting it in “low” mode to unlock full performance, I discovered that the Cullinan is obnoxiously quick. Sixty arrives in just over five seconds, the massive V-12 thumping away as the eight-speed snags new gears. Its air springs firm up to keep its butt from scraping pavement, but they’re outmatched by physics. The Cullinan is hilarious to drive hard, not because it falls apart but because it somehow keeps itself together. You can tell it doesn’t like it, but it’ll fly around corners.
The most fun part of having a Cullinan on an open road with 612 lb-ft under your right foot, though, is not using it. With nothing in sight, there’s something freeing of saying “no, no more of that.” It’ll happily gobble pavement at steep speeds, but what on Earth is the rush? Let the Cullinan settle down and you’ll realize that your destination can’t possibly be as pleasant as your means of getting there. There is no engine noise while cruising, no gusting wind to disturb you. Just a dull roar, like a lone car driving hundreds of feet away. The seats are perfect, the steering so low effort as to let you forget you’re driving. Nothing suggests you should be in any hurry to get out of the car.
You Like Control
Since Mercedes brought adaptive cruise control to the S-Class over 20 years ago, marketing has convinced me that cutting-edge driver aids are the ultimate luxury. That’s crap. In the future, sure. But for now, these systems lose track of the lines, veer off course, and constantly beep and flash warnings to put your hands on the wheel, even when your hands are on the wheel.
The Rolls-Royce Cullinan does not try to drive itself. Sure, it has adaptive cruise control, but that’s been ironed out enough to be actually useful. It’ll nudge you if you depart your lane, but it’s not going to try to chart the big SUV’s course itself.
Instead, Rolls-Royce makes the Cullinan as easy to control as possible. Steering is not just light, but incredibly precise. Fingertip corrections keep you on course without thought, with progressive pedal travel allowing you to softly brake and smoothly accelerate. It’s an underrated part of the Rolls-Royce experience: Comfort isn’t just about suspension softness, but also how comfortable you are with controlling the thing.
Some of you may dismiss this as unimportant. After all, you assume, Cullinan owners have chauffeurs. Not the case, as it turns out. Not only is it rare for a Cullinan owner to have a chauffeur, it’s rare for any Rolls-Royce owner in the U.S. to have an on-staff driver. According to Rolls-Royce customer data, even owners of the stupendously long Phantom tend to drive themselves. Maybe it’s a cost thing, but I suspect the freedom of moment and the intoxicating nature of driving something so large yet so delicate factor in.
You Are a Big Stupid Child
For me, early adulthood has been an exercise in trying to fight cynicism. Those paying attention over the last year know that it was, at times, hard to stay positive. Especially living in New York in March and April, part of me just wanted to give into the jaded, hopeless dejection that ran rampant over the last year. I get it, we want to commiserate.
But things are on the up-and-up. Present case surge aside, the vaccination development and distribution campaign is itself one of humanity’s greatest scientific efforts so far. Life is returning to New York streets, COVID deaths are way down, the crime spike has long since subsided. People are outdoors, enjoying life. So it’s easy to let yourself be a little stupid, riding around in a big red fire truck with a Rolls-Royce badge and blasting “Semi-Charmed Life” out of the open windows. I couldn’t have predicted most of the in-between, but if you asked me in 7th grade what my ideal Saturday would be, that’s pretty much what I would have said. It’s good to know that, despite the 9-5 job and the role play as an aloof Rolls-owning socialite, I’m still the same dumb kid. In a bit over my head, but making the most of it.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
Luxury SUV – What the $417,800 Rolls-Royce Cullinan Teaches You About Yourself
Tags: Luxury SUV , Latest News on C N N.