Twitter – New Orleans Twitter Works Through The Stages of Hurricane Prep | The Latest | Gambit Weekly
Like that creepy drunk fourth uncle twice removed on that side of your momma’s family nobody much likes, Hurricane Ida has decided to get worked up and come to town for a visit, no matter how many times we don’t answer her text messages.
Waking up this morning to the news that the storm was likely to get bigger and badder, New Orleans Twitter had plenty of thoughts, working itself through all the various stages of Cone of Uncertainty Doom.
First, of course there’s humor, dry at first, like the Lakeview pumps.
— Alyson Neel (@alyson_neel) August 27, 2021
And then everybody’s got jokes.
I don’t know which one of y’all posted this but I can’t stop laughing 😂 Thanks for sending this to me @DavidMora & y’all stay safe#NOLA #NewOrleans #ida #HurricaneIda #VaccineMandate pic.twitter.com/MGoiD1YqOZ
— Trixie Minx (@TrixMinx) August 27, 2021
The legislature’s unwillingness to outlaw hurricanes is one of the more glaring failures of Louisiana politics right now.
— Jeff Asher (@Crimealytics) August 27, 2021
Even our Muggles are out here crackin’ wise.
In honor of the hurricane approaching LA currently:Jim Cantore’s name Voldemort’s name 🤝 Being unspeakable
— Julia Guilbeau (@juliaguilbeau) August 26, 2021
Ya know Ida, I’d love to dance, but … yeah, my card is kinda full? Wanna try and reschedule?
I’m afraid I simply do not have time in my schedule for a hurricane
— Brendan Cuti (@BrendanCuti) August 26, 2021
Meanwhile, those with a voice of an angel call upon God for help.
Sending prayers for everyone in the path of this hurricane, on the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina 2005. Please bless everyone dear Father, Aaron Neville pic.twitter.com/12ljYZi4Z5
— Aaron Neville (@aaronneville) August 27, 2021
While others get busy doing anything except dealing with the storm…
.@IsraeliPM Bennett is meeting with the president today to ask the U.S. to not re-enter the Iran Nuclear deal. COMPLETELY AGREE WITH PM BENNETT.
— U.S. Senator Bill Cassidy, M.D. (@SenBillCassidy) August 27, 2021
…or acknowledging that climate change is real and very much a class issue.
Y’all have about 36 hours or so to make it happen. https://t.co/9CN4eu2oPQ
— Jarvis DeBerry (@jarvisdeberry) August 27, 2021
Evac decision matrix1) Confidence in levees and gates to hold back storm surge2) Confidence in pumps to keep the street flooding down3) Tolerance for lots of whooshing winds outside4) Tolerance for several days without power 5) $$ available to actually go anywhere
— skooks (@skooks) August 27, 2021
But mostly we turn our weary eyes toward the great and wondrous Orracle.
The Orracle has spoken
— Alison Fensterstock 🐺♒️ (@AlisonF_NOLA) August 27, 2021
following Orr for news of Ida and getting a weird craving for french fries
— Michael Tisserand (@m_tisserand) August 27, 2021
I can’t be the only person who’s thought about this today, right? pic.twitter.com/oXLcKal7gX
— Hell Or Bywater (@HellOrBywater) August 26, 2021
Speaking of our Meteorological Queen, every time there’s a storm suddenly everybody thinks they have a Ph.D. in weathernomics.
Y’all heard Dat?👂That’s the sound of everybody in New Orleans flipping from being an immunologist to a meteorologist. 👀
— Breaux Mart (@BreauxMart) August 27, 2021
We have now entered the phase of hurricane prep where our-of-town relatives text you everything they’ve learned in the last 15 min about the track and intensity of the storm.
— Sara Sneath (@SaraSneath) August 27, 2021
Eventually, of course, The Shopping Wars begin!
You might say the checkout line at Rouses is long. This is the back of the store on Tchop. Yes, this is the checkout line. pic.twitter.com/Gzg8j1FS0t
— Hell Or Bywater (@HellOrBywater) August 27, 2021
Like white people at a gun shop after Barack Obama was elected, the panic buying is fierce yet oddly unseasoned.
— wdsu (@wdsu) August 27, 2021
Everyone attempting to park in the CBD Rouses parking lot for hurricane supplies needs to have their drivers license revoked immediately including myself
— Sarah Ravits (@sravits) August 27, 2021
Which leads to the eternal question: Will my hurricane snacks last till landfall?
Who will break first? pic.twitter.com/t8uNjCs6Co
— Jennifer Crockett (@CrockettWDSU) August 27, 2021
I’m in bed, attempting to be in for the night, but I can’t stop thinking about the hurricane snacks in the kitchen.
— Swamp Monster (@Shimoji___) August 27, 2021
Meanwhile, back at the Sewerage & Water Board …
New Orleans: the pumps are working great, we are ready for this storm!New Orleans, 2 days ago, after like an hour of rain: pic.twitter.com/aDsxV3CCA0
— emma ruby (@emmaeruby) August 27, 2021
New Orleans “on the dirty right side of the storm” … “you can imagine the stress on the pumps” #ida @BillKarins 😥At least @SWBNewOrleans has all of the pumps working… Wait! It’s hurricane season of course they don’t.
— Lee (@leejlemond) August 27, 2021
… Oh, word?
Pumps that are down include:- I Pump at DPS #6 – (In Lakeview near Metairie Rd.)- D Pump – DPS #12 – (In Lakeview near Lake Marina Dr.)- No. 4 Pump – DPS #14 – (In New Orleans East)Power Status – Turbines 5 & Turbine 6 available – All Frequency Changers available
— SWB New Orleans (@SWBNewOrleans) August 27, 2021
No, but seriously who has the willpower to not nom all the CheeWees?
In case anyone else needs to hear this… Don’t eat your hurricane snacks yet. Don’t eat your hurricane snacks yet. Don’t eat your hurricane snacks yet. I got back from the store less than two hours ago and I’m already tempted. pic.twitter.com/Ib0PkvGpbC
— Amie Just (@Amie_Just) August 27, 2021
But above all else y’all remember …
Breathe, y’all. Remember to breathe.
— Christina Watkins (@CWatkinsWDSU) August 27, 2021
… Because we’re all Cynthia, in the end!
— Devin Bartolotta (@devinbartolotta) August 27, 2021