Perfection is a strange paradox: the more we search for it, the more elusive it becomes. Society shows us, time and time again, that there’s always something to improve in us. While there’s nothing wrong with growth, our endless search for this ideal can stop us from ever loving ourselves and the world until we reach that ambiguous standard. We tell ourselves that we’ll accept that version of ourselves that will be perfect. Not now. We keep googling, “What is procrastination and am I lazy?”, “How to be more likable?”, or “Tips to become more beautiful.” It’s an endless cycle.
We miss out on the people we are today already. We are imperfect, funny, and messy, and we deserve to be accepted as we are. It’s time to learn to accept yourself like that. In reality, in the moment, in your own body.
Perfection, A Lie
Perfection doesn’t exist. Even in math or physics. The world as it is is made up of weird contradictions and things that shouldn’t work, yet they do. The same goes for us!
Being perfect means giving the right amount of effort, which, we believe, will give us the mark of worthiness. However, perfection, as many authors on okmagazine.com admit, is a moving target. With every new ideal spewed at us from social media and a new show, we get farther and farther from it. And so we overlook the precious real versions that are already here.
Why do we do that? There are many answers. The saddest reason is that society has taught us to. It has become a collective gold rush.
But there’s another part of it that tells more about us than the entire world. We don’t know how to accept ourselves. Not even love — just acknowledge that we are the way we are, and it’s okay. It requires a lot of digging and self-reflection, and most of us aren’t comfortable with that. So we try to hide from it by rushing ahead and forgetting it. It’s easier to run than stop and face something we dread.
Being Real — What Is It?
We all know what perfection is. But what is being real? It’s all about honesty. About being truthful with yourself and others. Knowing who you are and why. It’s letting go in the moment and accepting that you can ache, smile, and feel lost. It’s looking in the mirror and saying, sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a sigh: “Yeah, that’s me.”
To be real is to know what’s going on behind the surface. You don’t have to spill your heart out to others, but you deserve to be authentic with your heart. You know each version of yourself and accept the one it is now — raw and unfiltered.
Some people think that when we accept ourselves in the moment, we stop growing and improving. That’s not true. Imagine doing an exercise that you have yet to do better. Instead of being frustrated because you haven’t done it yet, you can quietly observe your actions and think about small things you can improve. But also, while you do, you think about how well you are already doing and how you keep trying. You keep breathing, remembering the small tensions in your body, and acknowledging that you are on your way.
When you are real, you want to grow even more, but now, it’s about wanting to develop for what you dream of. Not to run after the ideal but to move through changes without fear of rejection. You don’t have to be fixed. Get inspiration from this knowledge.
Learning to Cultivate Acceptance
We know that it’s not enough just to say something and hope it’ll work like that. But that’s the best thing about acceptance! Even if you’re still struggling with it, you can practice it daily, and it’ll slowly change your mindset as you continue.
Body Scans and Grounding
Your body is always there, whether you like yourself or not. It supports your life. So when you are feeling overwhelmed or angry, pay attention to it. Notice your breath, your feet on the ground, the sensation of your clothes and air on your skin. Just by remembering that you are real, you can already acknowledge your right to take up space.
Mirror Work
Look at yourself in the mirror. Yep. Focusing on ourselves, from the crowns of our heads to the soles of our feet, is surprisingly effective if we want to remind ourselves that we matter. Stare at yourself and smile. Sigh. You can even say something like, “Yes, I’m tired.” Give yourself a soft verbal nudge as you finish with it. Say, “I’m trying my best. I’ve got this as much as I can.”
Time for a Moodboard
We tend to overlook others’ imperfections while being too focused on our own. Open Pinterest or whatever platform you prefer and create your moodboard. Imagine a moodboard for a character you love — it can be anyone. Most of them aren’t perfect. What makes you similarly interesting, fun, or even a bit silly? Is it your crooked smile? Or maybe your unpredictable music taste? Your not-so-perfect haircut you’ve just made? You are made up of so many things. When you put them all together, they suddenly start to make sense.
What About the Others?
Our self-acceptance often declines when we interact with the world. Unfortunately, most of it doesn’t care about how unique we are, and it can discourage us. But when we stop pretending with ourselves, we also begin to do the same with others, and it makes our relationships more authentic. Realness invites realness. When we invite others to witness our vulnerability, we finally achieve the intimacy we crave so much.
Why Not Today?
When you close this article, you’ll probably think that you’ll start tomorrow. Of course, it’s easier to set the task aside, but it can be a trap. Why not begin nurturing your self-acceptance today? Don’t try to do much, don’t try to earn a place in the world. You already have it. Do just one small thing that can bring you closer to your authentic self today.
